Faces of the sub

"Good morning! My name is Miss Cook and I'm the sub."

"Miss Cook did you go to college?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"Teaching."

"Did you go to high school or were you 'homeschooled'?"

"I went to high school and I was homeschooled."

"Okay. Give me the ball."

"It's mine." (Sticks ball down the front of his pants.)

[on the phone] "Can the principal come get a student?"

Secretary: "He'd love to."

"He farted!"

(Cough, cough)

"It stinks in here!"

"I can't work!"

"Yuck."

"Way to go, bro."

"The window is open. The smell will go away. Try to be mature about it."

"They can't be mature."

"Hey guys chill."

"Woaw!"

"Watch out!"

"Stop it you two! STOP IT!"

[on the phone] "I've got a fight in here!"

Secretary: "What room are you in?"

"Uh-uh-uh 230."

Secretary: "Okay. I'll send somebody."

"He punched him!"

"Watch out for that chair!"

"STOP IT!"

Teacher next door, "BREAK IT UP YOU TWO! Go to the office right now!"

"Okay. Settle down. Sit down everybody and be quiet."

"Wasn't that funny?"

"Who started it?"

"Do you think that was funny?"

"No!"

"Miss Cook, do you let kids throw chalk? There's chalk all over the floor back here."

"I had freshmen last hour."

"That explains it. Did you slap them?"

"No."

"Can I slap them?"

"Not if I'm looking."

(I shouldn't have said that.)

"Miss Cook, did you do crack?"

"That's not an appropriate question to ask a teacher."

"Did you do pot?"

"That's not an appropriate question to ask a teacher."

"Do you smoke cigarettes?"

"That's not an appropriate question to ask a teacher."

"Do you drink alcohol?"

"That's not an appropriate question to ask a teacher."

"Have a good weekend, Miss Cook."

"You too."