Friday, March 12, 2010

Survival

For our family's newsletter we compiled a list of "Hospital Survival Tips." The number of tips exceeded the space, so I decided to share some of our advice here.

  • Choose diamonds (see above photo of Julie) over stars if given a choice of hospital gowns.
  • Befriend the secretary and the security guard.
  • Warn guests before a visit if there's a cleaning closet on another floor with the same room number as your room.
  • Carry earplugs and set low expectations for sleep.
  • Resign yourself to the fact that some hearing aids always screech.
  • Close the blinds before exercising, lest you gain an audience and receive compliments on your dance performance.
  • Insist that a family member stay in the room if it makes you more comfortable.
  • Ask questions before procedures lest you have a pap "scam."
  • Buy more than one variety of granola bars.
  • Pain medication can be a friend or an enemy.
  • No matter what the Nutrition Services Ambassador suggests, don't order sausage for your first meal in ICU.
  • Be firm when disoriented patients wander into your room at night.
  • Check with the nurses to see which cook is on duty when deciding whether or not to order dinner from the hospital cafeteria.
  • Be wary of the grilled chicken.

2 comments:

  1. hummm....who did the dance performance? You?

    ReplyDelete
  2. We all know who is the best cook at Michigan and gives you the best deal for your money.

    ReplyDelete